Random Post: China/Hong Kong/Japan/Korea - observations and/or stereotypes
I'm honestly not sure how I should write this post, but I feel like I should as a "you might want to know before you go to East Asia". I am by no means an expert, but it's something that I've observed and wanted to share so that there are no offences made. Also I try to look up these types of things before I go on vacation. While in these countries, I may have unknowingly did these things and received some stares. I'm only looking at this from a tourist perspective, so if you're going to move to any of these countries, you can still keep it in mind but there are probably more things to pay attention to. I am also trying very hard not to stereotype, but it's just good to be aware.
Recently I visited Hong Kong, Guangzhou, Taipei and many cities in Japan. It's not like I left my manners behind me, but I didn't realize or I may have forgotten certain things during my vacation. I will probably also list these things in my actual blog post.
Public Transport
1. Do not sit in the priority seating section you are part of the priority group
My friend who lives in Taiwan stated that even in a crowded train, those seats would be left open because there will be negative looks from other riders if you sit in this section and you are not visibly identified as a person who should be sitting in priority seating. I mean this would be for all countries, but I just wanted to add that in this.
In Tokyo, there is a priority seating section. This section asks for no cellphone use. Previously I have sat in this section with my coworker and he had taken out his cellphone. We received stares from the person across the seat. I remember mentioning it to my friend that there is no cellphone use in this section but he didn't seem to care. Anyway, the reason for no cellphone use in certain sections is due to the possibility of cell phones interfering with pace makers. I noticed the signs 10 years ago, but when I was in Japan this time, I was always in the middle of the train, so I can't confirm whether that is the case. I know it can be argued whether cell phones actually interfere with pacemakers, but that was one of the possible reasons 10 years ago.
2. Using an indoor voice
I noticed that most people are usually on their phones texting each other. Usually phones are not used for actual phone calls. I had a SIM card in my phone during my trip and noticed that there is signal even in subways. However, people do not usually talk on the phone. Conversations to neighbours are usually not done loudly. When I was travelling with my friend, we would just whisper in the subways/trains or sleep since we're so tired. I remember when I was working in Japan and I was going to another station to receive training, my trainer called me while I was on the train to inform me that the location had changed. So I made my phone call very quick, but you do get some looks.
3. Entering from the back of the bus
This isn't necessarily a manner thing but just be aware a lot of the times, people enter the bus, press their metro card and sit at the back. Then exit at the front and tap their card again. If you don't have a metro card, you can typically grab a paper ticket and still pay by exact cash (if it is a pay per distance type of transport). Oddly enough, if it's the type of transport that you pay only once, you enter from the front, tap and you can just exit from the back.
4. No eating food or drinking beverages
This might be a no brainer to most parts of the world but in Toronto, there are no signs for no eating or drinking so people do that. Sometimes during rush hour, you'll find people with a hot cup of coffee in a crowded subway. Sometimes, there are coffee spills too. In Taiwan, you can get fined for eating or drinking. I didn't realize the signs and I had a bubble tea with me that was almost finished, so I sipped it. Then a kind lady sitting across from me pointed to the sign and I was surprised and I apologized. I think the only reason I took a sip was because I was unaware that it was illegal to eat or drink, but also because it was in my hand so out of reflex, I took a sip.
In Japan, besides long distance trains (like the Shinkansen), it's socially not acceptable to eat or drink on a local train. People will stare at you, or even possibly take photos of you for shaming.
Chopsticks
I've seen a lot of people comment on chopstick use. Growing up, my parents didn't tell me this many rules. The most I got was don't stick you chopsticks up your nose, or don't like your chopsticks. It was before I moved to Japan that I saw a whole list of rules of what not to do that I realized there were things I shouldn't do but at the same time, I never did them before. I mean chopsticks are tools, like how I would use a fork, spoon or a knife. The only difference is, I can lick my fork and spoon. Anyway, since there are chopstick etiquette, I will mention it too. Though I should note that I can't hold chopsticks the traditional way.
1. Do not stick your chopsticks straight up in the middle of your bowl of rice
I was taught this while I lived in Japan. A bowl of rice with a pair of chopsticks sticking straight up in the middle is part of a funeral. This is mostly common known in Japan that you do not do this. I read somewhere that it is also rude to do so in Korea. I also asked my Mom if this was the same for Chinese culture. She also said that it was something that Chinese people do not do, because instead of chopsticks it's incense that is burn straight up in a bowl for the dead. Somehow she didn't bother telling me this when I was young... I should add that my mom asked me why I would feel the need to stick my chopsticks straight up in the bowl? Then I said that I didn't know why. Her reply was something to the affect of not telling me because why would I do it? So, I have decided that it's just not good to stick chopsticks straight up anywhere.
2. Do not pass food from chopstick to chopstick
In my family, if we wanted to share food, or give someone a piece of food, we would use a chopstick and place the food either on the person's plate or in their bowl. It's rude to pass from chopstick to chopstick. I have never been told the actual reason why for Chinese people. I'm just guessing what if it falls, then that's just embarrassing, and wasteful. Also, it seems for the most part, when we're giving people food, it's usually near the end and you're telling someone to eat more of a delicious dish and they can't turn it down if you drop it in their plate/bowl.
No Tipping
It seemed that tipping was not expected in many countries in Asia. It also depends where you go of course. As this is part of my East Asia post, I noticed that tipping is not expected. It might even be considered as an insult.
I hope this post was helpful. I'm not trying to offend any culture/country by stereotyping. I've just notice these, and of course everyone can have different thoughts or interpretation based on their own life and where they live. Or, at least you can keep this in mind so you aren't offending anyone. Or, I guess you can also knowingly offend :)
Recently I visited Hong Kong, Guangzhou, Taipei and many cities in Japan. It's not like I left my manners behind me, but I didn't realize or I may have forgotten certain things during my vacation. I will probably also list these things in my actual blog post.
Public Transport
1. Do not sit in the priority seating section you are part of the priority group
My friend who lives in Taiwan stated that even in a crowded train, those seats would be left open because there will be negative looks from other riders if you sit in this section and you are not visibly identified as a person who should be sitting in priority seating. I mean this would be for all countries, but I just wanted to add that in this.
In Tokyo, there is a priority seating section. This section asks for no cellphone use. Previously I have sat in this section with my coworker and he had taken out his cellphone. We received stares from the person across the seat. I remember mentioning it to my friend that there is no cellphone use in this section but he didn't seem to care. Anyway, the reason for no cellphone use in certain sections is due to the possibility of cell phones interfering with pace makers. I noticed the signs 10 years ago, but when I was in Japan this time, I was always in the middle of the train, so I can't confirm whether that is the case. I know it can be argued whether cell phones actually interfere with pacemakers, but that was one of the possible reasons 10 years ago.
2. Using an indoor voice
I noticed that most people are usually on their phones texting each other. Usually phones are not used for actual phone calls. I had a SIM card in my phone during my trip and noticed that there is signal even in subways. However, people do not usually talk on the phone. Conversations to neighbours are usually not done loudly. When I was travelling with my friend, we would just whisper in the subways/trains or sleep since we're so tired. I remember when I was working in Japan and I was going to another station to receive training, my trainer called me while I was on the train to inform me that the location had changed. So I made my phone call very quick, but you do get some looks.
3. Entering from the back of the bus
This isn't necessarily a manner thing but just be aware a lot of the times, people enter the bus, press their metro card and sit at the back. Then exit at the front and tap their card again. If you don't have a metro card, you can typically grab a paper ticket and still pay by exact cash (if it is a pay per distance type of transport). Oddly enough, if it's the type of transport that you pay only once, you enter from the front, tap and you can just exit from the back.
4. No eating food or drinking beverages
This might be a no brainer to most parts of the world but in Toronto, there are no signs for no eating or drinking so people do that. Sometimes during rush hour, you'll find people with a hot cup of coffee in a crowded subway. Sometimes, there are coffee spills too. In Taiwan, you can get fined for eating or drinking. I didn't realize the signs and I had a bubble tea with me that was almost finished, so I sipped it. Then a kind lady sitting across from me pointed to the sign and I was surprised and I apologized. I think the only reason I took a sip was because I was unaware that it was illegal to eat or drink, but also because it was in my hand so out of reflex, I took a sip.
In Japan, besides long distance trains (like the Shinkansen), it's socially not acceptable to eat or drink on a local train. People will stare at you, or even possibly take photos of you for shaming.
Chopsticks
I've seen a lot of people comment on chopstick use. Growing up, my parents didn't tell me this many rules. The most I got was don't stick you chopsticks up your nose, or don't like your chopsticks. It was before I moved to Japan that I saw a whole list of rules of what not to do that I realized there were things I shouldn't do but at the same time, I never did them before. I mean chopsticks are tools, like how I would use a fork, spoon or a knife. The only difference is, I can lick my fork and spoon. Anyway, since there are chopstick etiquette, I will mention it too. Though I should note that I can't hold chopsticks the traditional way.
1. Do not stick your chopsticks straight up in the middle of your bowl of rice
I was taught this while I lived in Japan. A bowl of rice with a pair of chopsticks sticking straight up in the middle is part of a funeral. This is mostly common known in Japan that you do not do this. I read somewhere that it is also rude to do so in Korea. I also asked my Mom if this was the same for Chinese culture. She also said that it was something that Chinese people do not do, because instead of chopsticks it's incense that is burn straight up in a bowl for the dead. Somehow she didn't bother telling me this when I was young... I should add that my mom asked me why I would feel the need to stick my chopsticks straight up in the bowl? Then I said that I didn't know why. Her reply was something to the affect of not telling me because why would I do it? So, I have decided that it's just not good to stick chopsticks straight up anywhere.
2. Do not pass food from chopstick to chopstick
In my family, if we wanted to share food, or give someone a piece of food, we would use a chopstick and place the food either on the person's plate or in their bowl. It's rude to pass from chopstick to chopstick. I have never been told the actual reason why for Chinese people. I'm just guessing what if it falls, then that's just embarrassing, and wasteful. Also, it seems for the most part, when we're giving people food, it's usually near the end and you're telling someone to eat more of a delicious dish and they can't turn it down if you drop it in their plate/bowl.
In Japan, it is part of the funeral ritual to pass cremated bones from chopstick to chopstick into an urn.
3. Use the chopstick holder
Usually in a restaurant there is a chopstick holder for your chopsticks. Whenever you're not eating, it's safe to say you should place your chopsticks on that holder. Chopsticks should either be in your hand in use, or resting on the holder. If it's disposable chopsticks, you can make a little chopstick holder out of the paper. Usually I just fold the paper a few times and fold the bottom so it pops up. When you're finished your food, then you can lay it on your dish.
4. Do not search for food with chopsticks
That is rude. If you are eyeing a piece, try to get straight for it. It's worse when you're digging from your own chopstick because even though you didn't lick your chopstick, it was still near your mouth and that just seems wrong. For my family gatherings, we use communal chopsticks because we have several plates of food for everyone to share. If my Uncle goes digging for food for my Grandma, we can all forgive that. However, in a public setting, it's also like you're picking the best piece for yourself, and other people have to eat from the same shared plate.
5. While talking, place the chopsticks down
If you like to talk with your hands, it's not great that chopsticks are in your hands and waving around. It's also rude to point your chopsticks at someone. If you're trying to challenge someone to a fight, then you can use your chopsticks to point at someone. I think I've seen this in movies and usually it hands up in fights outdoors.
6. Don't play with your chopsticks
While I was a kid, I would use my chopsticks for chopstick duel, or stick my chopsticks in my mouth so I look like a walrus. While I could get away with it as a child, as an adult it's not quite the same. Unless you're playing with a baby and trying to amuse them. Other than that, I wouldn't do that. Again, I'm not sure who would randomly do this at a restaurant, but it's just something to keep in mind.
Other Etiquette for dining
1. Bowl to mouth
Before going to Seoul, I looked up what was not acceptable for dining. One of the things mentioned was that South Korean people do not lift the bowl to their mouth. For soup, they use a spoon. Or just use chopsticks. While in China and in Japan, the bowl is picked up and you basically use the chopstick to shovel food to your mouth.
2. Don't blow/wipe your nose at the table
This is hard for me to do, especially I believe this item was also something I found while looking up before going to Seoul. Since the food is spicy, my nose runs. I think I had to quickly wipe my nose so whatever coming down won't be noticeable even though my nose was totally clear before eating.
3. Using tea to clean chopsticks
I'm not sure if other countries do this. In China before a meal, there's a glass bowl in the middle of the table with a pot of tea. You can use this to rinse your chopsticks, tea cups, plate and bowl. Though, people don't typically do this during the meal. It's at the beginning. Unless you eat something totally saucy and something comes later, then maybe you'd do a rinse (my family does this but I can honestly say I've never seen others do this), but usually they will give you new bowls and plates by then. I did read somewhere that it's not polite to do this in other Eastern Asian countries.
4. The most senior is supposed to eat first
I've read about this, and typically the eldest eats first. With family on both sides, it doesn't seem like we wait. In fact, it seems that we let the youngest eat first. Or my family is just super relaxed. My mom has told me stories that when she was a child, the eldest has to pick up their chopsticks first before anyone else could.
5. Drinking soup from the bowl
This is a new add on. I went to Korean BBQ with my coworkers in Toronto. When the soup came (which is clear broth soup), I immediately picked up the bowl and started to drink from it (not like beastly, but just pick up and started to drink). Then my boss, who is Japanese, commented, "I guess we can eat the Eastern way since we're at Korean BBQ". My coworker from the UK waited for a spoon before drinking the soup. I guess since it's clear broth soup, I always just picked it up. Only if there items inside the soup/stew, then I would use a spoon. I found that interesting.
6. Don't play with your chopsticks
While I was a kid, I would use my chopsticks for chopstick duel, or stick my chopsticks in my mouth so I look like a walrus. While I could get away with it as a child, as an adult it's not quite the same. Unless you're playing with a baby and trying to amuse them. Other than that, I wouldn't do that. Again, I'm not sure who would randomly do this at a restaurant, but it's just something to keep in mind.
Other Etiquette for dining
1. Bowl to mouth
Before going to Seoul, I looked up what was not acceptable for dining. One of the things mentioned was that South Korean people do not lift the bowl to their mouth. For soup, they use a spoon. Or just use chopsticks. While in China and in Japan, the bowl is picked up and you basically use the chopstick to shovel food to your mouth.
2. Don't blow/wipe your nose at the table
This is hard for me to do, especially I believe this item was also something I found while looking up before going to Seoul. Since the food is spicy, my nose runs. I think I had to quickly wipe my nose so whatever coming down won't be noticeable even though my nose was totally clear before eating.
3. Using tea to clean chopsticks
I'm not sure if other countries do this. In China before a meal, there's a glass bowl in the middle of the table with a pot of tea. You can use this to rinse your chopsticks, tea cups, plate and bowl. Though, people don't typically do this during the meal. It's at the beginning. Unless you eat something totally saucy and something comes later, then maybe you'd do a rinse (my family does this but I can honestly say I've never seen others do this), but usually they will give you new bowls and plates by then. I did read somewhere that it's not polite to do this in other Eastern Asian countries.
4. The most senior is supposed to eat first
I've read about this, and typically the eldest eats first. With family on both sides, it doesn't seem like we wait. In fact, it seems that we let the youngest eat first. Or my family is just super relaxed. My mom has told me stories that when she was a child, the eldest has to pick up their chopsticks first before anyone else could.
5. Drinking soup from the bowl
This is a new add on. I went to Korean BBQ with my coworkers in Toronto. When the soup came (which is clear broth soup), I immediately picked up the bowl and started to drink from it (not like beastly, but just pick up and started to drink). Then my boss, who is Japanese, commented, "I guess we can eat the Eastern way since we're at Korean BBQ". My coworker from the UK waited for a spoon before drinking the soup. I guess since it's clear broth soup, I always just picked it up. Only if there items inside the soup/stew, then I would use a spoon. I found that interesting.
Receiving things/items with both hands
This is something I also learned in Japan. For example, while accepting a business card, one should accept with both hands. You will notice the person handing it to you is also giving it with both hands. In most Japanese stores, when they hand you change or your receipt, they will give it to you in both hands. Usually they give the change first, and then after they will hand the big bills with both hands.
In China/Hong Kong, I didn't notice this as much. However, when I receive red pocket money from my Grandma during our festive occasions, she gives it to me with both hands. I have also been told by my Mom that it is very polite and respectful to receive with both hands. So, I am mentioning it for Chinese culture as something that you can do if you want to show respect. However, I haven't really noticed it as common practice in stores or restaurants, but it's something to keep in mind.
Bowing
At home, or when I'm visiting my relatives in Hong Kong and China, I do not bow when I see them. I will only call them by their names according to their ranking. The only times I've bowed are when I'm visiting the cemetery to pay my respects to my ancestors. Even then, there is an amount of bows. For my ancestors who are Christian, I bow three times in a row. For my Buddhist ancestors, I do three sets of bows with breaks in between. So it would nine bows in total. However, I do not greet people with a bow, or apologize with a bow. Other times I've seen bows are during weddings. Especially during the tea ceremony while offering tea to the in-laws.
When I visit Japan, I do small bows as a greeting, thank you, or as an apology. There are different angles for what the bow represents. The lower the bow, the greater the apology or request. As a tourist, or even working there, I only had to nod my head as a greeting, thank you or as an apology. My apologies would only be if I pumped into someone accidentally and I am apologizing. Or if I am trying to excuse myself for blocking them in some way. These are small gestures, I don't think locals expect tourists to bow, but it's something I instinctively do. My friend recently visited Tokyo, and he mentioned he just automatically did small bows.
Bowing isn't harmful, but in the way I've described it, it's not like bowing is really common practice in all East Asian countries.
Bowing isn't harmful, but in the way I've described it, it's not like bowing is really common practice in all East Asian countries.
Leaving shoes at the door
Before moving to Japan, it was mentioned during cultural studies to remove my shoes before entering someone's home. Also, when I was teaching cultural differences in language class, the main thing that came up was also taking shoes off at the door. In Toronto, I have always removed my shoes before entering someone's home, I'm not sure if this is the same for other places, but since it is emphasized, I have added this just in case.
In Japan, besides entering someone's home, there are other places where you may have to remove your shoes. For example, fitting/change rooms, karaoke rooms, izakaya, hotels, public bath or onsen.
I realized a good way to know whether to take off your shoes for these public spaces are if the floor is raised from the regular floor. For example, I was at a store and I wanted to use the change room. I didn't realize that the actual change room floor was a little raised compared to the store floor. So I entered, and then I was quickly asked to remove my shoes. That was when I realized I was supposed to leave my shoes outside the door. There was another store I tried on clothes and the change room was a bit bigger, so I could walk in with my shoes on, but there is a spot to take it off and then the raise floor appears. For izakaya, if you're sitting in a big area with the tatami floor and some cushions, you can leave your shoes before the mini stairs.
I realized a good way to know whether to take off your shoes for these public spaces are if the floor is raised from the regular floor. For example, I was at a store and I wanted to use the change room. I didn't realize that the actual change room floor was a little raised compared to the store floor. So I entered, and then I was quickly asked to remove my shoes. That was when I realized I was supposed to leave my shoes outside the door. There was another store I tried on clothes and the change room was a bit bigger, so I could walk in with my shoes on, but there is a spot to take it off and then the raise floor appears. For izakaya, if you're sitting in a big area with the tatami floor and some cushions, you can leave your shoes before the mini stairs.
No Tipping
It seemed that tipping was not expected in many countries in Asia. It also depends where you go of course. As this is part of my East Asia post, I noticed that tipping is not expected. It might even be considered as an insult.
I hope this post was helpful. I'm not trying to offend any culture/country by stereotyping. I've just notice these, and of course everyone can have different thoughts or interpretation based on their own life and where they live. Or, at least you can keep this in mind so you aren't offending anyone. Or, I guess you can also knowingly offend :)
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